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March 3rd 1995: After the success of our personal computer that vaccums your carpet, we've decided to use the money to buy out the United States.
June 14th, 1995: We announce our buyout of the United States. It is set to happen on August 8th, 1997.
November 27th, 1995: We killed Gordon Freeman
January 1st, 1996: We land on earth for the first time in 13 years. Things have changed alot since 1983. We visited the White House and offered the president $6.66 Trillion. Bill said no.
January 6th, 1996: We send some of our troops to earth to abduct some citizens and cows so we can learn about the American Civilization. While the examinations are going on, we held a meeting to discuss other ways to get the President on our side.
February 14th, 1996: We decided to blow up Kansas to intimidate the president. He'll give us the country in no time.